101 Easy Ways To Say No
I'd love to, but...
- ... I have to floss my cat.
- ... I've dedicated my life to linguini.
- ... I want to spend more time with my blender.
- ... the President said he might drop in.
- ... the man on television told me to say tuned.
- ... I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
- ... I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
- ... it's my parakeet's bowling night.
- ... it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
- ...I'm building a pig from a kit.
- ...I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
- ...I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
- ...there's a disturbance in the Force.
- ...I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
- ...I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
- ...I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
- ...I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
- ...I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
- ...I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
- ...my crayons all melted together.
- ...I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
- ...I'm in training to be a household pest.
- ...I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
- ...my patent is pending.
- ...I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
- ...I'm sandblasting my oven.
- ...I'm worried about my vertical hold.
- ...I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
- ...I'm being deported.
- ...the grunion are running.
- ...I'll be looking for a parking space.
- ...my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
- ...the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
- ...I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
- ...I have to fluff my shower cap.
- ...I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
- ...I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
- ...I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
- ...my plot to take over the world is thickening.
- ...I have to fulfill my potential.
- ...I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
- ...it's too close to the turn of the century.
- ...I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
- ...my subconscious says no.
- ...I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
- ...I left my body in my other clothes.
- ...the last time I went, I never came back.
- ...I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
- ...I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
- ...none of my socks match.
- ...I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
- ...I'm having all my plants neutered.
- ...people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
- ...I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
- ...I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
- ...I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
- ...my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
- ...I'm touring China with a wok band.
- ...my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
- ...I never go out on days that end in "Y."
- ...my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
- ...I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
- ...I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.
- ...I'm too old/young for that stuff.
- ...I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
- ...I have too much guilt.
- ...there are important world issues that need worrying about.
- ...I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
- ...I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
- ...I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
- ...I feel a song coming on.
- ...I'm trying to be less popular.
- ...my bathroom tiles need grouting.
- ...I have to bleach my hare.
- ...I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
- ...I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
- ...you know how we psychos are.
- ...my favorite commercial is on TV.
- ...I have to study for a blood test.
- ...I'm going to be old someday.
- ...I've been traded to Cincinnati.
- ...I'm observing National Apathy Week.
- ...I have to rotate my crops.
- ...my uncle escaped again.
- ...I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
- ...I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
- ...I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
- ...I have to go to court for kitty littering.
- ...I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
- ...I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
- ...having fun gives me prickly heat.
- ...I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
- ...I have to jog my memory.
- ...my palm reader advised against it.
- ...my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
- ...I have to stay home and see if I snore.
- ...I prefer to remain an enigma.
- ...I think you want the OTHER [your name] .
- ...I have to sit up with a sick ant.
- ...I'm trying to cut down.
- ... well, maybe.
3 kommentarer:
Ha,ha kul! I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products..ha ha
Just might come in handy some day ..;)
ninde: När jag hittade listan tänkte jag faktiskt på dig och "Nyårsafton II". Nån här kanske går att använda som "nobba-dansareplik"...
Ha,ha tack! Fast av nån anledning känns det som om det är krångligare att hitta på nåt som funkar på en tjej..iaf om vi båda är hetero..hm..
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